Why Now?

I don't know how much time I have left - no one does.  One of the sayings that I heard growing up is, "Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?"  While that mostly meant housework and errands, I think it also applies to where I am at in my life. 

This week I was asked the question, "Why now?" We had been talking about me now sharing so much of my journey, and the question that surfaced was, "Why now?"  Essentially, "What has happened in your life recently that sets you free to share now?"

Excellent question!

One reason I feel such a desire to open up, after 8.5 years out of domestic violence, is this: I feel super supported in my life right now.  I have different circles of people in my life that are so genuine, caring, interested, and supportive.  I have people I can talk to, ask questions of, pray with, laugh with, and be serious with.  I am being challenged and I am growing.  I feel like I am in a good place; not an easy place, but a good place.  I know that I do not have to walk this journey alone. 

Another reason is I recognize I have a story of Hope that God gave me to help someone else.  God brought me through events and circumstances in my life so I can "help others go through what I've gone through" (Kathe Wunnenberg).  There was a purpose in the pain and hurt - a Hope to share with others.  You can make it.  You can press on.  With God by your side, He will guide you through.  It's not easy, but it's possible.

The biggest reason for the "Why now?" question is this: God says it's time!  I've been waiting for the right time - the time God releases me and sets me free enough on the inside to share my journey.  That doesn't mean I have no fear, it means I am putting my fears aside and putting my trust in the same God who walked every step of my life with me.  I am keeping my faith in the God who has never left my side.  I am believing that what the devil meant for my harm, my God is going to use for my good and the good of others.

Taking the step of obedience to share my story has already opened up so much dialogue (real, genuine conversations) with people. I will share whatever I have to, regardless of how uncomfortable it may make me feel, to have others feel comfortable enough to share their struggles with me.  My uncomfortableness is worth the Hope God can bring to others. 

Why now? It's time!